5 Intentional Ways to Increase Intimacy in Your Relationship,Relationships Essential Reads
WebJan 7, · Being alone together out of the house. Being alone together in the house. Having dinner and talking about the day. Cuddling on the couch or in bed. Sex with WebApr 18, · Communication can help build emotional closeness. 4. Spend time together. Schedule time together to share an experience and learn more about each other. AdMarriage Need More Intimacy? Ways To Restore Marriage blogger.com are trying to find the offers that are right for her in this time of your ... read more
What rates highest in a long-term relationship? Passion is important, certainly, but intimacy rates highest. Intimacy is the sense of another person fully knowing you, and loving you because of who you are—as well as in spite of it. This requires taking a leap into rare honesty and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. When I see him in a crowd or walking through the front door, I want to go up and hug him. One of the best parts of the day is getting in bed at night and hugging. Bennett in Time and Intimacy: A New Science of Personal Relationships. Over time, though, without continued attentiveness, it is easy to lose that urge to keep discovering all there is to know about one another. Individuals that psychologists have dubbed openers have intimate conversations with others because something about them encourages disclosure. These are among the times people feel closest. One woman shared instances where she and her partner feel closest, including when they have a productive talk about something upon which they disagree.
But also important, she told me, "is when we produce something together. Gradually over time, we become more predictable to one another. According to Sternberg, our interactions in close relationships tend to go along in well-worn grooves, called scripts. Most emotion is the result of some interruption of the script. Keep doing the same old thing, and you experience no emotion. But sometimes it takes extreme action to realize how much intimacy there is, or was. When the marriage of Susan Tyler Hitchcock and her husband was stagnating, they made a family project of a year-long sailing trip in the Caribbean. Their pattern of her expressing anger or disappointment, and him withdrawing, was broken. In the confines of a sailboat, neither of them could just walk away, and they learned to talk at a deeper and more honest level.
What if you are part of a mismatched couple, where you crave a deeper level of communicative openness than your partner ever will? Comfort levels with verbal sharing typically do increase with practice in an emotionally safe context, so continue to work at becoming a non-judgmental listener. People vary as to how much intimacy they require to avoid loneliness , and how much they can tolerate before feeling saturated. Those with stronger needs will work harder to ensure intimate contact with their partners, by listening more closely and encouraging their partners to be more expressive. If the need is weaker, then there will be a weaker correlation between intimacy and relationship satisfaction. The women, especially, complained they wanted to talk about negatives as well as positives, and they especially wanted to talk about work.
Intimacy is more than words or sex. What some of them missed, though, was their wives being there for them "in much fuller ways. As long as the less articulate demonstrate their love in their own ways, they deserve credit for their thoughtful behavior, as well as extra patience and understanding on the part of the talk-deprived. This post has been adapted from Loving in Flow. Susan K. Perry, Ph. Her current focus is on the creative aspects of rationality and atheism. It takes me back to the moment our marital journey all began. There are so many great ways to reminisce on your own, or with you partner. Pull out the old picture books, watch your engagement video, talk about your favorite dates. Keep those special and defining moments of your relationship alive. A part of intimacy is in understanding, prioritizing, and honoring the way your partner receives love. We all have different ways of feeling and receiving love. Take the famous Love Languages quiz and find out what yours is.
Then have your partner take it and share theirs. Have you been speaking your partner's love language? We often treat our spouse in the way that WE want to be treated, but really, loving in a way that our partner values will deepen the intentional intimacy you create. Gifts come in many forms. What does your partner want? What does your partner need? A foot massage without having to give you one back, an evening out while you watch the kids, her favorite flowers, his favorite dinner from the free all the way to the lavish, give a gift and let your partner know they are loved. Intimacy begins with you. You cannot be intimate with another if you are not first taking care of your own emotional tank. Your partner needs you at your best, not at your worst or on your last stretch of energy. If you are taking care of you, you are in a better place to put out the efforts of intentional intimacy. Date yourself so you can date your spouse! Begin to implement these suggestions into your routine this week.
See what you notice and explore how you feel. With the implementation of intimate actions on your part, you will experience a deeper connection with your partner. Skip to Main Content ×. Main Menu U. News U. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections Voices Queer Voices Women's Voices Black Voices Latino Voices Asian Voices. Special Projects Highline. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes. From Our Partners A Minute And Change. International Australia Brazil Canada España France Ελλάδα Greece India Italia 日本 Japan 한국 Korea Québec U. Follow Us. Part of HuffPost Wellness. All rights reserved. Couple whispering together indoors. It is that, and more. And it is something that must be cultivated or else it will be lost.
Here are five ways to start cultivating intentional intimacy:. Speak your partner's love language. Go To Homepage. Before You Go. Suggest a correction. You May Like. MORE IN Wellness. The Most Unexpected Sign Someone Is Having Suicidal Thoughts. Why Do People Love Watching Apocalypse Shows And Movies? MORE IN LIFE. Very Few Veterinarians In America Are Black. The Most Common Sex Issues In Your 50s And How To Handle Them. Cardiologists Share The 1 Food They Never Or Rarely Eat.
Intimacy is at the core of every committed partnership. it should be. But over time and after the inevitable process of settling into the complacent routines of a long-term relationship, intimacy seems to feel further away than it perhaps once was. Sure, you still have those days where you look over at your partner and think "dang! What did I do to end up with a hunk like that! Not to fear this is supposed to happen. I am pretty sure no one came up to me and warned me of this on my wedding day. If they did, I can guarantee you I didn't hear them. I was in la la love land. But today, I am willing to embrace the fact that my relationship will change over time, and that intimacy is not going to come so easy forever.
Intimacy is something that feels natural at first, and that's because it is! It manifests as a strong chemical reaction, an emotional connection between two yearning souls that can't seem to get enough of each other. It is beautiful and so thrilling. But what does intimacy in a long-term partnership look like? What does it feel like? Well, it looks like a lot more work and feels more like trust, respect, honesty, and intentionality. It is so far beyond the sensual fireworks and surface-level connection we fool ourselves into believing is true love. People get set into their routines. Routines get comfortable and end up feeling concrete. If you and your partner seem to have opposite schedules or different routines for winding down at night, making a change in this area will be sure to increase the feelings of intimacy. Create a routine together and let your end-of-day winding down become a space for you to reconnect.
Do this intentionally for one week and see what you notice. Sure, the sparks may not be flying as frequently as they were when you first got together, but those moments should not be lost forever just because they are in the past. Honor your relationship history. At least once or twice a year I will pull out our wedding memorabilia and read through the notes, our vows, look at the pictures, hold one of the last sparklers from the sendoff. I can feel a surge of love for my spouse, and it reminds me to be intentional toward him. It takes me back to the moment our marital journey all began. There are so many great ways to reminisce on your own, or with you partner. Pull out the old picture books, watch your engagement video, talk about your favorite dates. Keep those special and defining moments of your relationship alive. A part of intimacy is in understanding, prioritizing, and honoring the way your partner receives love.
We all have different ways of feeling and receiving love. Take the famous Love Languages quiz and find out what yours is. Then have your partner take it and share theirs. Have you been speaking your partner's love language? We often treat our spouse in the way that WE want to be treated, but really, loving in a way that our partner values will deepen the intentional intimacy you create. Gifts come in many forms. What does your partner want? What does your partner need? A foot massage without having to give you one back, an evening out while you watch the kids, her favorite flowers, his favorite dinner from the free all the way to the lavish, give a gift and let your partner know they are loved.
Intimacy begins with you. You cannot be intimate with another if you are not first taking care of your own emotional tank. Your partner needs you at your best, not at your worst or on your last stretch of energy. If you are taking care of you, you are in a better place to put out the efforts of intentional intimacy. Date yourself so you can date your spouse! Begin to implement these suggestions into your routine this week. See what you notice and explore how you feel. With the implementation of intimate actions on your part, you will experience a deeper connection with your partner. Skip to Main Content ×. Main Menu U. News U. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice.
Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections Voices Queer Voices Women's Voices Black Voices Latino Voices Asian Voices. Special Projects Highline. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes. From Our Partners A Minute And Change. International Australia Brazil Canada España France Ελλάδα Greece India Italia 日本 Japan 한국 Korea Québec U. Follow Us. Part of HuffPost Wellness. All rights reserved. Couple whispering together indoors. It is that, and more. And it is something that must be cultivated or else it will be lost. Here are five ways to start cultivating intentional intimacy:. Speak your partner's love language. Go To Homepage. Before You Go. Suggest a correction. You May Like. MORE IN Wellness. The Most Unexpected Sign Someone Is Having Suicidal Thoughts. Why Do People Love Watching Apocalypse Shows And Movies? MORE IN LIFE. Very Few Veterinarians In America Are Black. The Most Common Sex Issues In Your 50s And How To Handle Them.
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I Want More From Our Relationship!,4. Relish the routine.
WebApr 18, · Communication can help build emotional closeness. 4. Spend time together. Schedule time together to share an experience and learn more about each other. AdMarriage Need More Intimacy? Ways To Restore Marriage blogger.com are trying to find the offers that are right for her in this time of your WebJan 7, · Being alone together out of the house. Being alone together in the house. Having dinner and talking about the day. Cuddling on the couch or in bed. Sex with ... read more
Learn to read and communicate emotions directly. Those with stronger needs will work harder to ensure intimate contact with their partners, by listening more closely and encouraging their partners to be more expressive. In fact, sometimes intimacy doesn't include sex at all! This article has been viewed 10, times. Read Next. You become afraid of vulnerability because you're sure you'll get hurt. The Highest-Rated Charging Pads And Stations On Amazon.
Back Magazine. The Biggest Problem On The Red Carpet Is Actually The Smallest. Date yourself so you can date your spouse! Make it a habit to always give your partner a hug and a kiss whenever the two of you are parting ways. Vulnerable intimacy is working on the emotional level. That trust is the foundation of strong intimacy.
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